Problem with women

I saw a video in which a former trad wife said it’s dangerous to be a traditional wife because if you get tired of your husband, you are stuck. If you get “tired” of someone you are supposed to love, the problem is you.

I hate it when people argue against traditional marriage and biblical gender roles on the grounds that if you live this life and you get sick of your husband you cannot leave him because you don’t have the finances. Honestly, ladies, what’s wrong with you? I get leaving in cases of abuse or infidelity, but if you can just get tired of someone that you are supposed to love you are the problem, not him. Marriage isn’t until you get tired of it or until you get bored. It’s forever. How did we get such a generation of selfish women?

I will not get sick of or bored with my husband. I love him more than life itself.

New House

Yesterday my husband and I arrived at our new home. Moving was a fiasco. They were supposed to pick our stuff up on Friday. But first, the company didn’t do the paperwork they needed to do. So we had to sponsor them on base. But then, when they were trying to get on, they crashed into the base gate, so they had to file an accident report. Then they were denied entry because it turned out the driver had a DUI or something. So they had to come back Saturday. It was 530 pm when we got on the road. We drove until midnight, then finished the trip on Sunday. Yesterday we just unpacked the car and tried a local pizza place for dinner.

I feel stressed. The good news is that the house has beautiful hardwood floors, lots of big windows, a nice size yard etc. The bad news is that I am in a busy area. I’d say at least 100 cars an hour have passed my house. I hear road noise. I am terrified of parallel parking, and most areas here require it. It’s stressful.

But still, I must make the most of it. The moving truck comes on Wednesday. Then the real work will begin.

Preparing to Move

I purged so much stuff over the weekend and I have more to go. Sadly, I got rid of my treadmill. It takes up a lot of space and the reality is that even though I’m losing weight and a treadmill could help, I am just not physically able to use one. It felt a little bit bitter to admit that, but using the treadmill puts me in awful pain, and I very quickly lose all range of motion in my ankle. So we put my treadmill out on the curb, and another family picked it up. Hopefully it can help them with their health.

Today I need to gather up my Lisa Frank for packing. It’s so expensive that I don’t want the movers to take it. It isn’t that I think anyone would steal them, but I think that if they were damaged in transit, the moving company would refuse to pay the full value for them. They’re going to see a vinyl bag with aliens on it and say 20 bucks when in reality it’s worth 400 and I paid at least 200. All the rainbow bags, tins, boxes, towels, office supplies etc make me feel so much joy. I even have a Zoomer and Zorbit duffle bag, which is pretty much a holy grail item. You never outgrow Lisa Frank. I’m the only girl I know who has “designer” bags with bunnies on them.

Today I’m hoping to paint a lot too. I won’t be able to paint Wed- Sunday.

Yesterday I had horrible anxiety. Anxiety that bad hasn’t hit me in a long time. My husband gave me a Klonopin and I had to sleep it off.

My Daughter Will Not Be Allowed to Have Social Media

Until A is 18, she cannot have any facebook/Instagram/tiktok (we are raising her to know better than to download a propaganda machine from the CCP)/Snapchat etc. I like social media for staying connected. It has its uses and can be entertaining for a while. But it has a devastating impact on developing minds. I can’t prevent her from using social media as an adult. But as long as she is underage, she will not be on these apps. I don’t want her exposed to drug dealers or predators. I don’t want her body image and self esteem get destroyed by the constant comparison trap. I don’t want her to become egotistical either.  There’s nothing good about kids on social media – not that I have found anyway. Right now, she is young enough that she doesn’t care. She gets on YouTube kids, but that’s it. Youtube if we are more closely monitoring. But eventually she may want these apps. She might ask. But I will not say yes.

Society would be better off if we didn’t have social media while our brains are still developing and maturing. And please keep your kids off of TikTok! It is a propaganda machine for the Chinese communist party. They want to destroy our youth. They want to sap our strength. That’s why they push LGBTQIA content so hard. And junk food. And pornographic images. Anti American screeds from college freshmen. Tiktok is destroying us, and everywhere I look around. I see Mother’s in their 30s like me playing on it themselves, plus letting their kids on it. Some of them call themselves content creators and don’t want to give up the income or the income they are hoping for. Some are so lost in mainstream media brainwashing that it’s too late for them. Their brains have rotted from disuse. Some just do not care. But the majority just want it for fun, consequences be damned. But the consequences – destroyed children, destroyed culture – are too enormous to be ignored.

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20 Self Care Ideas

1. Take a hot bath.

2. Go outside and look at the stars.

3. Read a book

4. Listen to music

5. Create something. Art is therapeutic

6. Call a friend. Or text. But it can be especially nice to hear a voice.

7. Exercise

8. Study Scripture

9. Pray

10. Get your nails done

11. Get a facial or do a home facial.

12. Visit a museum

13. Play a game. Sometimes I play Pac-Man on my phone.

14. Take a nap. If you have little ones nap when they nap or put something on for them to watch and doze on the sofa.

15. Dance

16. Write in a journal

17. Take a walk

18. Go shopping for something you like. It doesn’t have to be expensive.

19. Watch a movie you love

20. Say no to what is requested of you from time to time to relax. You are not required to say yes constantly to everything people ask you to do.

Sick Day

I have been throwing up a lot since I woke up today. I feel sweaty and weak and tired. At this point I’m just hoping I can keep my medicine down tonight.

Yesterday we went to a restaurant we won’t have around any more when we move. We grabbed ice cream too.

This coming week is my last full week in this house. I’m trying to be positive. This is a great move for my husband. I need to make the most of it and try to be at my best. Ideally my husband should have no worries on the home front because I have everything taken care of. That’s always my goal. I just need to keep the moodswings at bay.

I want to enjoy as much time as I can on my pretty, cozy backporch. Our next house doesn’t have a screened in porch – or an ocean view on one side. To leave that wonderful space unappreciated on my last week here would be a travesty.

Ray of Light

Later this week I might do a clean along with some of the girls from Instagram. It’s fun to work with others. I’m also drawing up my packing list. This morning I had Angelica work on clearing stuff she doesn’t need out of the studio. I’ve been doing the same. I put out two big sterilites with stuff on the curb. I gave up my stamp collection. I want to be more streamlined.

New Digital Planner!

I have been searching for a useful all-in-one planner system that will account for all my homeschooling needs next year, as well as let me track household goals and creative goals. I wanted something colorful and bright.

I ended up on Etsy, where I saw digital planners compatible with the Android app, Penly. They had a rainbow of colors, so many options, a well designed homeschooling section, and the ability to add stickers and pictures. I took a chance, bought Penly, and bought the digital planner. For a long time, whenever I have used a planner, it has been a paper planner. What I like about paper planners is that the analog nature feels good. It’s nice to write with a pen and hold a pretty paper journal in your hand. It’s also cool that because they’re analog, you never have to worry about being unable to see your planner because your battery is dead. But the paper planners plus all the stickers I like to add take up a lot of space. Furthermore they are hard to take with me wherever I need them. I bring my phone with me to most places anyway.  It’s hard dragging a big planner around or, more likely, hauling 2 planners around since I have not found an all-in-one paper planner that covers home schooling and everything else I need. Even if I end up getting a tablet for the planner so that the screen is bigger, it is still a lot easier to carry around one thin tablet than one, or even 2, bulky paper planners.

Digital planning with my stylus lets me add pictures and clip art, and choose my text color and thickness. Penly has kind of a learning curve for me, but uploading my new planner to Penly was super easy and quick, even though this planner is massive. However, I am excited to learn to use it. I am setting up housework sections, long term creative projects (like the book I’m working on), errands, self care, habit tracking, and, like I said, homeschooling stuff. I’m excited!

Wedding!

Last weekend my husband and I went to the wedding of a close friend of his. The church was lovely. The bride’s dress was lovely. The crab cakes were good. All in all, we had a great time

However, I embarrassed myself during the reception. I hurt my arm muscle/shoulder joint, and I yelled out a bad word. So now I need to work on cleaning my mouth out with proverbial soap. But the pain was so sudden and strong. My husband took me outside to put it back in place. That was 3 days ago, and I still hurt and only have a limited range of motion in my arm.

Housework Inspiration

Today is my first day back to regular life. I have been cleaning, caring for the dogs, and doing laundry. Soon I have to take the car to the dealership because of an oil leak. I’m hoping the repair won’t be expensive

I would like to paint, read, and write, but the house must get done first. Here’s how I motivate myself to do housework when I’m tired and in a bad mood.

1. Put on music

2. Put on podcast

3. Reward myself for a job well done

4. Imagine giving an account of my day to my husband, who I am at home to serve and support. Would he consider my day well spent with what I’ve done so far?

5. Pray. Praying sometimes helps with motivation. Ask God for help with motivation, work ethic, and prioritizing.

6. Read homemaking blogs for encouragement.

7. Clean with friends. Set a timer and clean an agreed upon area. Having a friend working with you, even if they aren’t physically beside you, can give you an extra push to do a great job.

I Feel Fragile

In the fictionalized biography of Elizabeth Winthrope titled “The Winthrope Woman,” Elizabeth is speaking with her sister, Martha. Her sister tells her that she (Martha) is “cobweb that tears at a touch.”

I feel that way sometimes. It feels like I break so easily. I cried earlier today because of an upcoming move. I’m in my 30s crying over nothing.

Under stress, I fall to pieces. In loud, crowded spaces, I feel like butter spread over too much bread. My feelings are sensitive. I get sick at the drop of a hat.

Sometimes I just feel…delicate, for want of another word. I was so much tougher when I was a kid. But it’s like I was tough for so long that I frayed and broke. I couldn’t put myself back together the same way I was.